Waking up this morning there’s a good chance the very first words you heard on your tv or radio, the very first words you saw displayed on your phone, wether it was a tweet or a news alert, said something about the democratic presidential debate last night. There really was no getting away from it. If you’re a rare breed and managed to turn all news and social media off for an entire day you’ll have to do it again tomorrow because we’re in for an instant replay as 10 more of the 24 democratic hopefuls debate our future and the well-being of our country.
As you listened to the debate, or the recaps and opinions this morning, what can and can’t be done, what we need and don’t need, and how to go about getting it, what did you think? Did it cross your mind at any point if you’d be able to stand up there in front of millions of people and declare what is right for your future? Your answer might be a confident yes or maybe it’s a resounding no. Me? I have my own, highly critical, often argumentative inner debate every day. The debate that often determines not only my future but my day, Is not one of a political nature but is the debate I have with myself. Instead of being on a stage saying what I’ll fight for, I have a one on one boxing match with myself. One minute I think I can do anything I set my mind to, the next I get a punch right to the gut that says, “no you can’t, what makes you think you’re so special?” I debate all kinds of things. Seemingly ridiculous things, like should I get my hair cut the way I want, or should I just style it the way everyone else would like it? As if I have any idea what that would be. Yet I debate it over and over again silently to myself. I should really try to look more feminine, says that pesky little voice that sounds oddly familiar, like I’ve heard it a thousand times before. I nod my head in agreement, because after all, the cashier in the grocery store keeps calling me sir. Proof!
Thank god, a minute later as I’m approaching my car, bags still in hand, I straighten up my backbone and begin the debate. “Who cares, he didn’t even take the time to look up at me.”
Do you know how much time I spend debating with myself what to do with my hair? I wish I was talking to a crowd in front of me right now so I could see the wave of nodding heads. You’re following me right? It’s scary. We spend so much time debating who we are, based on how we dress, style our hair, wear our makeup. How we think people see us. How in the world do we have time to think about the things we say are really important to us. No wonder we never get around to doing the things we dream about. How do we win an argument with ourselves that we’re worthy of great things in life when we can’t stop arguing with ourselves over wether we look good enough. Imagine if I wore my hair exactly the way I wanted, expressing myself authentically and powerfully, exactly as I am. No compromises. I like me better already, and you probably would too. I want to live my life powerfully. I want to make a difference and a lasting impact on other people’s lives. I don’t have time to be debating with myself, especially over things as simple as my hair, which by the way, stay tuned for my new style in the next couple weeks, because I’m going for it!
Do you think “the girl on the right” (photo above) debated with herself about how she looked? I’d imagine she stood in the space she created for herself and said “this is me”. As a matter of fact she didn’t even think about it, and just presented her authentic self, with no concern about how different or unique that might be. Her self esteem hasn’t been chipped away at quite enough yet, she still thinks she’s ok just the way she is.
Let’s leave the debating to the politicians and stand in our own strong space, determined to be the change we can be in our own lives and others. Lets be so authentic we don’t even have to think about it and just present as ourselves. Let’s win our inner debate, so when the really tough issues come up in our life we have the strength and confidence to win the fight.